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[COMMENT: This arrived in an email. No comment. E. Fox]
Number 1 Idiot of 2005
I am a medical student
currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today,
this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating
ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end
of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant
poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter into the emergency room right away. Here's your sign lady - wear it
with pride!
Early this year, some Boeing
employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's.
They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after
they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter
coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the
emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no
longer employed at Boeing. Here's your sign guys - don't get it wet, the paint
might run!
A man, wanting to rob a
downtown Bank of Montreal, walked into the branch and wrote, "thiz iz a stikkup.
Put all yur muny in this bag." While he was standing in line, waiting to give
his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone might have seen him write
the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So,
he left the Bank of Montreal and crossed the street to the CIBC. After waiting
a few minutes in line, he handed the note to the teller. She read it, and
surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the
harbour, told him that she could not accept his note because it was written on a
Bank of Montreal deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a CIBC
deposit slip or go back to the Bank of Montreal. Looking somewhat defeated, the
man said, "Okay," and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was
waiting in line back at the Bank of Montreal. Don't bother with a sign for this
guy - he probably couldn't read it anyway!
A motorist was unknowingly
caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and
photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a
photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police
that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed
in his $40. Another sign (although this guy may be onto something worth
thinking about!)
A guy walked into a little
corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer.
After the cashier put the money in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch
behind the counter that he wanted. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as
well, but the cashier refused and said, "I can't - because I don't believe you
are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to
him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
licence out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over
and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag.
The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called
the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the
licence. They arrested the robber 2 hours later. This guy definitely needs a
sign!
A pair of
Seems this guy wanted some
beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and
heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit
the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the
Please note that all of the
above mentioned people are eligible to vote!!
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