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excerpts from the book, "Knuckleheads in the News"

* The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

* Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

* I thought my window was down, but I found out it wasn't open when I put my head through it.

* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in-law, and headed over the embankment.

* In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

* I had been driving for forty years when I fill asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

* I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble, when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

* As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appear before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

* To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I struck the pedestrian.

* My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

* An invisible car came from out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.

* I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

* The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran him over.

* I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray crows.

* I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

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