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(See also 2nd article below on same subject)
[COMMENT: This is exactly right, and some of the main culprits are indeed the cowardly "conservative" leadership, who are incapable of conserving anything. No-fault divorce is no-responsibility divorce. The way the rules are written, it almost always heavily favors the woman. Why men (judges, lawyers, politicians) fall for this evil nonsense is beyond me.
The two emails below came the same day, with somewhat different perspectives on CWA, one conservative women's organization. I think the charge is true that these big organizations become beholden more to their funding than to their mission under God to speak the truth. I fear that money is the reason why men fall for it. They are in positions to reap financial rewards.
God help us all in that respect. This attack on marriage
is one of the great issue of our time. It is an attack on the Image of God
-- in which we are made, male and female.
copied what I have included in the chapter titled, "The
Rise of Feminism and the Fall of Fathers"
in my soon to be released revised
Enough. The book is scheduled to be in bookstores including Walmarts Aug.
5th. Phyllis Schlafly wrote a recommendation for the cover. rs
No nation can long survive without strong, loving, and caring nuclear families. God designed the family to be a place of growth, protection, affirmation, strength, and nurturing, headed by a strong father and a supportive mother. Together, they were assigned the privilege of sharing in the ongoing creation miracle as their love relationship produced the next generation.
Divorce: Feminism's Crowning Achievement
Unilateral divorce, often called no-fault divorce, is one of the principal achievements of the radical feminists over the last fifty years. It takes two to marry, but one spouse can walk out of the marriage for any reason or no reason, without any fault of the other spouse. This change in the marriage law of all fifty states has enabled women to walk away any time they grow tired of marriage, taking with them their children and most of their husband's money. The devastation to children that results from this dissolution of marriage is incalculable.
Let me explain. I receive letters regularly from men pleading with me to use the influence I have with pastors to come to their aid in finding justice in family courts. It seems that some fathers cannot find equal justice when it comes to having equal access to the children they fathered with wives they love who no longer desire to be married to them. Unilateral divorce has spawned a cottage industry in this country of lawyers, psychotherapists, and paid counselors who routinely work together to get paid big fees by fathers who are trying to get a court's permission to see their own children.
Does that sound far-fetched? Then ask yourself the question, how often do you read or hear about a man getting the kids when a marriage is dissolved…or even equal time with the children?
The facts bear out the tragic story that I often hear from heartbroken fathers who love their children but who, for no fault of their own, are denied any access to their children beyond an every other weekend visitation simply because their spouse decided she no longer wanted to be married and found a lawyer willing to sue for divorce.
Without question there are thousands of men who have abandoned their wives, beat their wives, or are deadbeats. Women who find themselves in such marriages have a right to pursue a remedy for such abuse. But there are a growing number of husbands who have devoted their lives to providing for children and wives whom they love who are being denied their God-given right to be fathers. Then there are tens of thousands of children who cry themselves to sleep at night because they miss seeing their daddies and cannot understand why their daddies can't be with them anymore.
In his book Twice Adopted, Michael Reagan tells how, as the child of divorced parents, he only got to see his father, Ronald Reagan, on alternating Saturdays. He wrote, "To an adult, two weeks is just two weeks. But to a child, having to wait two weeks to see your father is like waiting forever."4 I would add, to a three-year-old, two weeks is a lifetime.
Phyllis Schlafly, best known as the woman who stopped the Equal Rights Amendment, which everyone was certain was an unstoppable assault on the Constitution and the matriarch of the modern conservative movement, has written extensively on this outrage. Mrs. Schlafly, who is an attorney herself, writes:
In family courts…some divorce lawyers advise wives to manipulate the process by using a three-step technique: (1) make domestic violence or child abuse allegations, (2) demand full custody, (3) collect large amounts of child support, alimony, and legal fees. If the father objects to this process, the wife can make more accusations.
The evaluators then call it a high-conflict divorce and give custody to the wife, declaring that shared parenting won't work. If the husband doesn't acquiesce…the father is denied the basic rights of a criminal defendant such as presumption of innocence and the necessity that the accuser provides proof beyond a reasonable doubt.
Family courts force fathers to submit to interrogations and evaluations by court-chosen child-custody evaluators. Fathers are forced to pay the high fees of these private practitioners, whom they have not hired, whose services they do not want, and whose credentials and bias are suspect. The children are also subjected to these evaluators who attempt to turn the children against their parents in unrecorded interviews.
…fathers [are required] to attend re-education classes and psychotherapy
sessions to induce them to admit fault and to indoctrinate them in government-
approved parenting behavior. The court-approved psychotherapists report back
to the court on the father's supposed progress, and his attendance at these
Soviet-style reeducation sessions must continue until he conforms.
A cozy relationship exists among the local lawyers and court-approved
psychotherapists who recommend each other for this highly paid work of
making evaluations, counseling, and conducting reeducation classes. The
psychotherapists refuse to challenge each others' recommendations or question
their competence, and the lawyers refuse to cross-examine them, because they
all want to continue the profitable practice of referring business to each other
and collecting fees from fathers who are desperate to see their own children.5
Schlafly lists more than fifty Web sites, articles, and books on this subject at her Web site, http://www.eagleforum.org/topics/fathers/index.html. Once again I am reminded of the scripture, "It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones" (Luke 17:2, KJV).
Subject: A Note XX Sent To CWA.J... - If you have a moment, I would love your response to a quick, hand-written note I just wrote to Beverly LaHaye of Concerned Women of America (CWA). I opened the mail to find another solicitation (I'm a member), and LaHaye said, "The theme for this edition is courage ... but what does it really mean?" My reply:Dear Dr. Beverly LaHaye,I note that, while you talk of "courage", CWA somehow cannot muster the "courage" to promote equal custody for fathers, let alone chastise the thousands-upon-thousands of mothers who use their advantage in the feminist courts to rob GOOD dads of their children. This is a national epidemic that takes "courage" to condemn.I suppose if you told the TRUTH about COURT-ORDERED FATHERLESSNESS you would lose money. Money is so precious to CWA, but not father-starved kids and their disenfranchised dads. Shame on you!G...FYI J...: XXX, the Massachusetts CWA Director, is herself a supporter of shared custody, but she cannot get the national organization behind the issue. For a while I tried the molasses approach with groups like CWA, Focus on the Family, Coral Ridge Ministries, American Family Association et. al., but when my requests went nowhere I started using the vinegar. M..... supports the letter (even would sign it), but she wishes I would be sweeter in my demeanor.
I am so saddened and at times angry that (other than Phyllis Schlafly) the "pro-family movement" has for decades totally ignored the courts' and bureaucracy's systematic de-humanization of fathers caught in custody and divorce conflicts and the plague that is bringing on America, the suffering of children that will be and is being passed down through the generations.
I am struck dumb at the tragic stories I've been made aware of and the pattern of social and spiritual cannibalism of fathers and children that they represent.
As you and many others know too well, it is more than just CWA. The plastic, saccharine, pre-fabricated aspect of the pro-family marketing machine's "moral concern" reveals a frightening hardiness among "pro-family" veterans who have simply lost sight of the face of Jesus Himself in the victims of modern social and cultural disintegration. The "Christian" witness to the world of our blind, ruthless, drunken even savage greed, self-importance, slavish conformity, group-think and chilling cowardice surely grieves God and He will not long endure the cries -- silent and vocal -- of His lambs, be they babies, fathers, children or anyone else.
Obviously, these "pro-family heroes" have not the faintest clue how many of their former supporters are turning away in shock and disgust from their "leadership" which is nothing more than one political calculation after another, always with cash flow and career and pathologically delusional "access to power" placed above those whom Christ Himself ministered to personally, not via intermediaries or fundraisers.
I'm afraid it is painfully clear to me that God Himself is well beyond sending down sweet molasses to those who can no longer hear His voice incessantly calling to their souls and can't see His face in the faces of helpless fathers. In fact, His "vinegar" will be very bitter indeed for those commercializing His righteousness and substituting their own filthy rags for His absolute Holiness. God have mercy on us, for conceit and lust for power and perishable earthly treasures have closed out eyes, blocked our ears and made us deaf to the cries of His lambs.
That is a very dangerous spiritual condition to be in. But we must remember, as we do our part to continue and fulfill Christ's ministry on earth, it will be just a little while now. Just a little while. "The race is not given to the fleet of foot, but to him that endureth to the end." Speak and write the love and the anger of God without fear, my precious brother. He will not be silent. How can we refuse God his voice through us, lest we lose the ability to hear it any longer ourselves?
I hope to write about this deeply troubling abandonment of helpless fathers trapped in the gears of a gigantic machine of sadism that our courts and bureaucracy and politicians are devolving into. I want to invite Mark Charlambous to write and blog about it at the UndergroundJournal.net, but I haven't even found time to find his e-mail address or phone number and talk to him about it.
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